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Tuesday, May 17th, 2005
8:08 pm - Reasons I should be worshipped
Its been a while, so I thought I should make this post a real zinger. I thought it should include insights into my life that the average person doesn't know. That being said, here we go:

I am the coolest guy I know. Not your average "I'm popular because I can throw a ball" cool, but the kind of cool that remains in tact reguardless of popularity, pride or embarassing stints of public nudity. In fact, I view popularity as a weakness. Your ever move, your every outfit and your every word is subject to the scrutiny of people who don't know anything about anything, least of all cool. So what makes me so cool you may as? For one, the fact that I don't have to answer that. For two, the fact that I'm going to anyway.

I spent almost a year working a job on a dive boat. Besides the fact that that was my dream job since I was just a babe, but also the fact that I got paid in effect to wrestle sharks and be a human anchor. I've done and seen things underwater that people can't even dream up. In the process I did something else thats not only incredible, but incredibly cool. I became a level three fighter with a specialty in underwater hunting. I don't know anyone else who can make that claim, and I know even fewer people who would be willing to. In your face Ex-captain of the football team, current grocery bagger.

The second and more important reason I am the coolest of the cool is that I am singlehandedly responsible for preventing the coming of the undead scourge.

For years I've wondered when the dead would walk the earth and I would finally be able to open up a giant can of whoopass on all those zombie pussies. After much time spent planning and preparing I finally figured it out: they won't come because they know better. They know that the second the rear their rotting heads I'm gonna blast a cap and that will be that. In short, they're scared. They're so scared in fact not only are they going to wait till I'm dead, but theyre going to wait untill I'm dead, my corpse has rotted to dust and all traces of my DNA have deteriorated past the point of recovery in case anyone decides to clone me.

It won't happen. They know better, and now I know they know better.

Feel safe, the undead scourge has been preemtively defeated before the first shot was fired.

Feel free to bow down and pay your respects any time now.

~King of Town

current mood: content

(1 bit of ego food | Feed My Ego)

Saturday, March 19th, 2005
4:30 am - Its all in the swing
I've been playing quite a bit of poker lately. The odd thing is, I think I might have gotten good kind of... all of a sudden. I played in a live table tourney a couple of days ago, and won it. Then I played an online tourney later that afternoon and placed 9th out of four hundered and some odd people. Took a day off more or less and then today, I took 4th in a tourney with over 800 people in it. To top it off I've taken about $200 at cash tables in the last couple of days... that puts my total winnings in the neighborhood of $600 for the last three days. Hopefully its not just dumb luck. That would make me sad.

~King of Town

current mood: hopeful

(2 bits of ego food | Feed My Ego)

Thursday, February 3rd, 2005
11:44 pm - State of the Union?
President Bush discussed a great many things in his address from both
his foreign and domestic agenda. The 53 minute speech ran a wide
gambit from the FY 2005 budget to tax and immigration reform, to
expanding the No Child Left Behind Act to include secondary education,
gay marriage and stem cell research, to the war on terror and the war
in Iraq.Of everything he discussed there were two things that stood
out most in my mind: Social Security reform, and the war on terror.

I liked President Bush's ideas for reforming Social Security, and I'll
tell you exactly why. As the President gave his time table for the
collapse of Social Security, the one thing that stood out most in my
mind wasn't any of his proposed changes (in fact there were few actual
changes proposed), it was the groans and cries of dissent heard from
the Democrats across the isle. While to many this seemed almost rude
of the Democrats, nothing could have brought me greater joy. Any time
a President has the fortitude to stand up in front of a live audience
and piss off the liberals that brings a warm smile to my face. In fact
any time anyone stands up and says anything that makes liberals,
Democrats or hippies unhappy or uncomfortable that is a sign to me
that they are moving in the right direction.

In terms of the War on Terror President Bush highlighted many of the
achievements his administration has made over the course of the last
four years. We captured Saddam, freed the Iraqi citizens, held free
elections and have more or less stuck it to terrorist organizations
around the world. There was a stunning display of emotion from both an
Iraqi voter as well as the mother of a Marine who gave his life to
free that country. It was enough to bring a tear to my eye.

Through all of this I couldn't help but to feel proud that I lived in
a country where values such as these were reguarded over everything
else, even human life at times. I felt proud that my country was being
represented by a good and honest man who has the courage to not only
make tought decisions, but to stand behind those decisions even under
constant criticism both at home and abroad. More then that I was proud
that the man I helped elect to that office was making it difficult to
live life as a terrorist, and extremeist or a liberal. I only wish
that he would take as harsh a stance against the liberlas as he has
against the terrorists.

current mood: Woot

(Feed My Ego)

Monday, January 31st, 2005
2:56 pm - My thoughts on Europe, Iraq, and the world as a whole:
I think everyone here has totally missed the point. Everyone is so
busy arguing over who has worse music or food or culture. None of that
really matters. What really matters is that no matter how much the
rest of the world may hate us there isn't a god damned thing any of
you can do about it.

Every country is arrogant, and from that arrogance stems jealousy
towards the United States. England, France, Iraq, Iran, China, Russia
and every other "power" in the world wants to be the biggest and the
baddest. Every last one of you bitches about our nuclear arsenal or
our "bloated" defense budget. What I hear when you say "America has
all of the Nukes" isn't "We think nuclear weapons are bad." I hear
"Its not fair, you should have all of the Nukes, we want some too."
Well you know what? Fuck you. You want them? Come take them. You want
them dismantled? Come on over, stroll right on in to any nuclear base
and just take 'em apart. You won't because you can't. We have the
biggest tanks, the fastest jets and the most guns and there isn't
anything any of you can do about it, so get used to it.

On a side note, I'm sick and damned tired of all the criticism over
the war in Iraq. Everyone likes to site WW2, so I'm going to do the

Every so often you get some ungrateful piece of shit European who
talks trash about how late we got in to the war. Well, you know what?
IT WASN'T EVEN ON OUR FUCKING CONTINENT. I figure that if you really
wanted to keep your piece of shit country with its piece of shit
customs and your crappy language, then maybe you should get up off
your asses and start killing some Germans. Some of you tried, and
thats all well and good, but you know what? When all is said and done
you couldn't even defend your own fucking country. We had to do it for
you. Who led the invasion into Normandy? It sure as hell wasn't
hundreds of thousands of French troops using French guns and French
boats. Get off your high fucking horses, bow down and start sucking
our giant American cocks. If it weren't for us, then entire continent
would be the United States of Germany.

On to Iraq:

Despite the lack of WMD's in country, Saddam was an asshole and the
Iraqi's had it pretty shitty. Besides that, Saddam had proven himself
in the past to be less then trustworthy not only in the realm of
WMD's, but also in his intent. For Christ's sake, he invaded Kuwait.
Does anyone remember another dictator who started out by moving rather
quickly into a reasonably small neighboring country (Ahem, Hitler).
Even if he wasn't doing anything wrong at the time, that son of a
bitch and his entire regime got what it deserved. A giant American
combat boot right up the ass. Anyone who honestly believes that the
Iraqi's were better off prior to the ousting of Saddam's regime is a
world class idiot. Bottom line: We identified a potential threat and
dealt with it the best way we know how: By killing people and breaking

You have a problem with that? Make a move yourselves and see if you
don't end up on the business end of a MOAB.

You won't because you can't, so shut your whiny cockholsters and deal
with the fact that America is going to do pretty much whatever we want
until someone makes us stop.

current mood: Patriotic

(3 bits of ego food | Feed My Ego)

Saturday, January 29th, 2005
1:42 am - KoT Represtents
In case you were wondering (whic you were) I went to a party tonight and I represented. Not only did I outdrink the resident redenck ON BEER but I then had three glasses of water, waited 20 minutes and was good to drive home.

~King of Town

current mood: Superior

(1 bit of ego food | Feed My Ego)

Thursday, January 27th, 2005
11:06 pm - A few things you should know:
First of all there may be a few of you who still read this (god only knows why) that are somewhat out of the loop. If that is the case, then there are some things that you should know.

1) I no longer live in Panama City, and thus no longer work on a dive boat. In fact I now live in South Florida and am unemployed.

2) I qualified with the M-16 last drill and pissed everyone off by not only being an arrogant sonofabitch, but also by qualifying Expert Marksman in the process.

3) I am currently in the process of cementing my sovereignty as the King of Town. Before too long I will have an official coat of arms, a standing army, and a kingdom. I'm going to finance this operation by selling flavor injection products similar to those of Ronco fame, but with a twist. They're all going to be shot out of some sort of gun. Trust me, it'll work.

4) You are all without a doubt the laziest, most worthless employees I have ever had and as such are all fired. Get your shit outta your desks and get yourselves out of my store.

By order of the King of Town

current mood: predatory

(2 bits of ego food | Feed My Ego)

Wednesday, January 26th, 2005
8:39 pm - Just curious
1. Who are you? 2. Are we friends? 3. When and how did we meet? 4. How have I affected you? 5. What do you think of me? 6. What's the fondest memory you have of me? 7. How long do you think we will be friends? 8. Do you love me? 9. Do you have a crush on me? 10. Would you kiss me? 11. Would you hug me? 12. Physically, what stands out? 13. Emotionally, what stands out? 14. Do you wish I was cooler? 15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I? 16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. 17. Am I loveable? 18. How long have you known me? 19. Describe me in one word. 20. What was your first impression? 21. Do you still think that way about me now? 22. What do you think my weakness is? 23. Do you think I'll get married? 24. Would you ever go out with me? 25. What makes me sad? 26. What reminds you of me? 27. If you could give me anything what would it be? 28. How well do you know me? 29. When's the last time you saw me? 30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? 31. Do you think I could kill someone? 32. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you?

(8 bits of ego food | Feed My Ego)

Monday, May 24th, 2004
8:08 pm - Good... but weird
Everyone is wrong. Every last one of you is totally confused, and so I am here to clear things up for you.

First and foremost, I am not an "8." After a certain hot blonde girl made a comment, I decided to take a little poll. The average is in the 8-9 range, and I'm sorry, but thats just not the case. I am a 6, at best. On a bad day, you're looking at a 4. From here on out, that is the standard. Keep it in mind when making future decisions.

Second, where are all of you getting this "great guy" crap from. I dont have a productive job, I'm not well read, highly literate, extrememly attractive or any of the qualities people tend to look for. I haven't taken up any causes, I dont care about endangered species... I'm a jerk in reality. Despite all of that, this girls gone for me, my buddy just had a heart to heart with me wherein he told me what a great guy I am, her dad seems taken with me, the head boat captain has been lathering me with praise and I got a letter from some random couple on my boats telling me how great I am. I dont get it! Whatever I have done, you all fell for it. Thats great, I have you all tricked, now stop it! Its all too confusing.

I hope that has made things crystal clear... or at list firmly muddy.

current mood: weird

(4 bits of ego food | Feed My Ego)

Wednesday, May 19th, 2004
9:43 pm - A busy couple of days
These last two days have been exhausting. The seas be a harsh mistress, yarrrr. It was rougher then hell on tuesday, and I was training a new captain. First thing he does is get the anchor line wrapped in the propellor. I ended up getting drug behind the boat for about a half a mile before they figured out what had happened. Then I spent about 30 minutes or so getting my ass beat while I was trying to clear the rope from the screw... then I had to actually get on it and tie in... then we had old people peing dumb, young kids being dumb, and I just generally had a whole lot of work to do that day. Today was a gorgeous day, but I was still wiped out from yeasterday, so I was dragging ass today. On the plus side I shot a 22 inch snapper, who will be delicious tomorrow. I'm just really wore out and need to get some sleep. Blah.

(Feed My Ego)

Friday, May 14th, 2004
11:39 pm - Another day
Nothing new or interesting is really happening. I spent all day in the bildge today... again. Total we've hauled about 250 gallons of oil and fuel out of that thing. Good times were had by all. I also pressure washed the deck on the Reef Runner, which makes me feel good cause thats more or less my boat.

Outside of work not much has been going on. I've been talking to this girl on the phone a great deal lately. I won;t name names, because it makes things more mysterious, but I dig her. Unofrtunatly for me, I know shes not in the market for a guy. On top of that, her last boyfriend (who she is supremly unsatisfied with) was better built then I am, so I doubt I would even pass inspection. Nonetheless, she is a pleasure to talk to, and if I ever get a chance I'm sure she would be a pleasure to hang out with.

(Feed My Ego)

Tuesday, May 11th, 2004
12:44 am - Long time, no post
Its been a long time since this journal has seen any action, and at the request of probably the only person who will read it, I'm going to start updating.

Work has been a lot of fun, though it seems like every time I hit the water I see a shark. Theres about an 8 foot bull on span 14 that I've dubbed my new dive buddy. His name is fluffy, and since he hasn't eaten me yet, I'm taking that as a sign of friendship.

I've tried "talking" to two different girls here in the last few weeks, and both of them have tried playing pretty much the same game. They both gave me the impression that they were interested, then failed to mention that they had boyfriends, and did a lot of canceling plans with me. Its screwed up my social schedule (what little of one I have) and more then that its screwed with my mind. I'm sick of the games. I just wish I could find a good girl to lather with attention. Oh well, perhaps some day.

(Feed My Ego)

Tuesday, September 30th, 2003
2:23 am - Sandwiches

Sand . wich

Definition -
Meat, cheese, or another form of protien placed in between two slices of bread.

That is to say that Mayo and Jelly between two slices of bread IS NOT a sandwich. Check the nutritional facts on the sides of your jars fools. Protien - 0g.

It seems to me that when the Earl of Sandwich put his meat between two slices of bread, he was doing men from there on a huge favor. Now we could combine the acts of consuming flesh with other manly acts, like playing cards. The pure definition of a sandwhich involves a source of protien (typically meat, cheese or peanut butter) between two slices of bread. All of this new age vegan hippy bullshit has got to go. The proud name the Earl lent to this wonderful food item has been diluted by 20th century complacency. I'll not stand by and let things be mislabeled sandwhiches any longer! I stand firm on this point. I will hold this ground as long as it takes. I will stand alone in my call for a revision of the corrupt sandwhich rules people seem to be living by these days. I will stand strong. I will not falter. I will not fail.

Go out and spread the gospel. Sandwiches will be disgraced no more...

(6 bits of ego food | Feed My Ego)

Friday, September 26th, 2003
2:12 am
The power went out today and Danny and Awall were sick, which gave me a couple of interesting opportunities. The first was being able to enjoy lounging in only candlelight. The second was being able to enjoy the company of Danny and Awall when they were sober. Combine the two and you have a relaxing evening in an environment conducive to though.

I thought about a great many things, though as to what they were, your guess is as good as mine. Its amazing how fleeting thoughts are, and how whimsical the mind is. Thinking now, however I've come to a few conclusions. First, I used to be a very romantic guys. Not in the traditional sense of romance involving women and love and all of that crap, but in a much broader sense. I always used to want to go out in a blaze of self-sacrificial glory. I always envisioned perfect dates as walks on the beaches. I always used to think that people were inherently good. I used to think a lot of things and now I find myself thinking them less and less. I've become complacent in a lot of ways. I've succumbed to mediocrity in many ways. I find that looking back people viewed me as interesting, and clever. Now I am seen as facetious and crude. This bothers me a great deal as before it always seemed that my ways with people were most of what I had going for me. In terms of tangible goals and the realizations of those goals I suppose I do have a lot going for me, but in that same sense I'm much farther out then many of the people I know. I'm good at a fair number of things, but I'm not great at anything. My ability to charm people by just being me has dissapeared and I now find myself becoming more and more alone. I've grown distant from Danny and Awall. I've cast dozens of others aside. Friends have become more or less expendable, though never for my own personal advancement. I feel isolated and yet I do nothing to remedy that. I dont think I know how anymore. I've forgotten how to be me. Not necessarily that I want to be who I was all those years ago. I've learned a lot and grown in ways that I would never forfeit or ignore. More then that I've misplaced the essence of what it was that made me who I am. I talk about the good old days, but when I look back on recent times, I have no good days to recall. I need some more of those good days. I need to create more good memories. I need to remember who I am and why I was that person.

Today is also the 26th, which is incidentally Heathers birthday. I'd like to do something for her, or at least send her a card. Unfortunatly I have no way to get in contact with her.

current mood: thoughtful

(Feed My Ego)

Wednesday, November 13th, 2002
5:31 am
The stupidity of people in general, especially people who choose the internet as thier vehicle for spreading ignorance is really starting to IRRITATE THE EVERLIVING PISS OUT OF ME!!! I cant take it any more. I dont know which to do first, kill everyone else, or kill myself. It doesnt make any sense. In all my life the percentage of stupid people I met seemed miniscule compared to the vast majority of people online. How did they ever learn to operate a fork, let alone a keyboard is beyond my comprehension. Perhaps they dont actually TYPE per se, they fling thier feces at color coded panels, and they have learned to associate series of panels with words and phrases... This is a giant, irritating monkey experiment. Damn you scientists, damn you to hell! Get a real job... one that makes me less genocidal!

current mood: pissed off

(2 bits of ego food | Feed My Ego)

Friday, November 8th, 2002
1:43 am
Two things I would like to mention.

1) I got to see tool tonight and you didn't. It was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced. I wouldnt trade it for anything... not even a sandwhich.

2) You can NOT under ANY circumstance make a Honda Civic fast simply by "putting a chip in it" It cannot be done. It requires extensive work which usually costs more then just buying a fast gar to begin with. Get it out of your head.

current mood: content

(13 bits of ego food | Feed My Ego)

Friday, November 1st, 2002
2:54 pm - Ahhhhhh yes
Last night was interesting. I dressed up as the superior parcel delivery service (which is to say Priority Mail), I had a great deal to drink, and I saved Danny from a bear. Mind you it was a REALLY big bear.

current mood: depressed

(1 bit of ego food | Feed My Ego)

Sunday, August 4th, 2002
3:11 am - Weeeeeee!
I got my car. I've been up for far too long, but I got my car. Its all super and super and um super. I've been up far too long, but I got my car. Boy do I have my car. You're all jealous, you just dont know it yet.

Fucked your Mormon.

current mood: ecstatic

(8 bits of ego food | Feed My Ego)

Thursday, July 25th, 2002
6:10 pm - Finally finished
I finished the story today. I really coped out on the ending. If you doint like it you can service me orally. If you want it, ask me. If you dont want it, then stop not wanting it, want it, and ask me. Also, please feel free to lavish me with ill deserved praise. My ego died again.

current mood: accomplished

(Feed My Ego)

Wednesday, July 24th, 2002
7:24 pm - The muffin man
I And so the story continues. I have resumed the writing of erm, well a story. I'm told its good, but then again I'm also told Al Gore is straight, so I can never be too sure about the things I am told. Anyhow, if you really want to read it (even though its unfinished) then you have to E-mail or IM me. Thats all there is to it. No exceptions. Er, rather, I suppose a phone call would work.

current mood: quixotic

(2 bits of ego food | Feed My Ego)

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